Insecurity can be a major hurdle in pastoral ministry.

But when you open your life to others, even though they could potentially hurt you, you’ll come alive in ways you’ve never experienced before.

Why does insecurity ruin relationships in ministry?

Because it prevents you from developing authentic relationships with your congregation. You want to be close to those you shepherd, but you also fear being vulnerable.

You long to have a strong relationship with your congregants, but it also scares you to death.

You can’t get close to someone if there’s fear in the relationship. 

(By the way, this is why living together before marriage doesn’t work in the long run. There’s no lifetime commitment. You never know when somebody is going to walk out. But fear vanishes, and intimacy—real intimacy—rises when two people say, “We’re committed no matter what. We’re going to make this thing work.”)

What do you fear in your relationships with those you lead?

Maybe you don’t want people to find out what you’re really like—so you hide yourself.

This is the oldest fear, all the way back to Adam, the first man.

He said, “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” (Genesis 3:10 NIV).

When you’re afraid, you get insecure and hide who you are.

You cover up, not just physically but emotionally. You build walls around yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not.

But while insecurity ruins relationships, love builds them up.

The Bible says in 1 John 4:18, “Love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (NLT).

Love takes the focus off you and puts the focus on the other person.

People often ask pastors: “Do you ever get nervous talking in front of a lot of people?”

You know the answer to this. Of course we do!

But the minute we think about how much we love our people—instead of being worried about what they think of our ministry style, biblical knowledge, or personality—fear goes out the back door.

The only way to love others is to realize that God loves you more than you can ever imagine.

Suddenly, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone anymore, and your identity and self-worth aren’t caught up in what others think. Instead, they’re caught up in your relationship with Jesus.

You may have had some relational disasters in your ministry.

Welcome to the work of a pastor!

But are you ready to fight insecurity and open up to those you shepherd?

First, open up to Jesus. Let him fill you with his love so you can share it with others.